You probably just need to fart

Yesterday our bikes were both hit from behind by a motorbike. We were on a busy and fast but straight and relatively wide main road, heading for the Java ferry. By wide we mean there is a lane in each direction wide enough for a car (but not a bus) to pass us without crossing the central line. As usual oncoming buses and cars were overtaking each other without regard for us, causing us to have to dive off the road quite frequently. Zoe felt uneasy about the road, but Hannah felt ok because the road was straight, saying 'you can see it, you can hear it, you can predict it and you can deal with it'. As usual Zoe was cycling four or five metres behind Hannah. With no warning – and for reasons we will never know – a boy on a motorbike slammed into Zoe's back right pannier (we think), knocking her off her bike sideways and a second later slammed into Hannah's back wheel, knocking the wheel out of its dropouts and sending Hannah (we think) up into the air to land on her back.

Zoe: I was feeling that the road was dangerous so I was alert but at the precise point of the accident I don't think anything big was oncoming and I wasn't aware of any specific impending danger. I heard a motorbike coming up behind me so when it hit me I think I knew what it was. I jumped up, kicked my bike off the road and then saw Hannah running back to me. We grabbed each other, and over Hannah's shoulder I could see the motorcyclist lying face down in a ditch. I think I said 'someone's f*cking dead'. I didn't realise that Hannah had also been hit until she said that it was difficult for her to breathe and I saw the state of her back. She went very pale and sweaty. Amazingly I have a few nice bruises but not a single cut.

Hannah: At the point of the accident I was also unaware of any specific impending danger. I heard a crash behind me and then within a second my bike was hit from behind quite silently but with incredible force. The next thing I knew I was lying on my back thinking 'whatever has just hit me had already run over Zoe and I am about to see her injured or dead'. I jumped up and ran back to her and she was on her feet swearing like a trouper so I knew she was ok. It was then that I realised it was hard for me to breathe and speak, so I sat down on the verge to concentrate on breathing and Zoe told me that my back was cut.

Everything that followed we could have predicted absolutely. The motorcyclist turned out to be uninjured, and sat near Hannah with his head in his hands. A fascinated crowd gathered within seconds, their vehicles bringing the busy road to a standstill. Fortunately two people stopped who spoke English. A young man squatted with Hannah and said nice things and suggested she might like to pray (Zoe was sarcastic to him about this but generally he was more helpful than not). A policeman turned up and directed the traffic. Zoe went into teacher mode and, with the help of a local English teacher, eventually managed to get a passing oplet (minibus) to take us and all our stuff to the hospital in Kalianda (about 15kms on). This was not as easy as it might sound, as Indonesians aren't very logical and members of the crowd were keen on a. taking us to the police station first, b. taking our bikes back to the nearest village and c. separating us from each other and from our stuff.

On arrival at the small hospital Zoe handed 20,000 rupiah to the oplet driver (probably a little over the going rate) but he said he wanted 100,000 from us. Staggering.

Hannah was taken into casualty in a wheelchair (unnecessary) while a crowd gathered to watch Zoe lock up our two bikes and carry (unaided) our ten bags inside. The crowd (including some children and several policemen) then proceeded to the trauma room to watch Hannah having her back cleaned up and five stitches put in whilst lying face down on a back copy of the Lampung Post. Other members of the public looked through the windows to enable them to continue smoking. Fortunately the female doctor and male nurse both spoke reasonable English and whilst the facilities were basic we had confidence in them. On hearing the crowd in the room described by Zoe, Hannah said 'this country is amazing' and the doctor said 'oh thank you'.

Next Zoe was interviewed by the first of a series of policemen (were you cycling two-abreast, was the motorcyclist speeding, what is your job, etc) whilst Hannah was wheeled elsewhere for a chest x-ray. (HD: I remember that a child followed me and the nurse and the jolly flip-flop-wearing radiographer into the x-ray room, which also contained an incubator. I had to remove my top, which was painful to do, and then I had to stand for the x-ray at which point I think I almost fainted. Whilst waiting for the x-ray to be processed I had a momentary cry thinking about the instant before I knew Zoe was ok. The radiographer brought me some water in a cup and saucer and the nurse asked me if I'd like to listen to Celine Dion on his mobile phone. Unfortunately the doctor said she couldn't read the x-ray so I had go back to have another one done. A surgeon was consulted about the x-rays, which showed no broken ribs and no burst lung. Apparently the pain all around my torso is probably muscular, which makes sense.)

Then there was some sitting around and more police arrived to ask more pointless questions. (HD: A very young policemen asked me 'where do you want to go now?'. I replied 'to my mum' and we both laughed. Then he said 'no, I mean, if this hadn't happened'. I said we had been heading for Java but that now we just needed to get to a clean hotel at which point he suggested we go to his house. The English teacher turned up again and after considerable discussion the police started acting a bit more appropriately. They asked us to write a statement, in which Hannah expressed our views about Indonesian road safety in general terms but stated that we do not know how the accident happened and do not intend to pursue the motorcyclist. The police tried to insist on fixing our bicycles, which we firmly declined. Then they said they would take us to a hotel for which they would pay, and that they would drive us to Jakarta if we wanted them to. (HD: In the midst of all this I said to Zoe that I hurt, and she made me laugh by replying 'you probably just need to fart' which is exactly what I always say whenever either of us is ill.)

At the hotel the manager was briefed with all the relevant details such as our jobs, and instructed to look after us. (HD: Since then I have been lying uncomfortably on my side letting the air-conditioning dry my back out whilst being waited on hand and foot by Zoe. Last night she went out to get some really nice fried rice and chocolate and phoned Dr Farmer for advice about the painkillers I'd been given. I can breathe and talk properly now and after a decent night's sleep had some bakso (meatball noodle soup) and mangos for breakfast then rice with tofu, marinated aubergines, green beans, cucumber and lemon mint for lunch. No loss of appetite to report. I'm taking antibiotics (to prevent infection) and painkillers and feeling sore in a rather weird way but otherwise ok. By the way the stitches, dressings and drugs cost us about $10 but we didn't have to pay for the x-rays.)

Last night the parents of 'the boy' – as he is referred to – turned up at our hotel looking worried and asked Zoe to write again that we do not intend to pursue their son. She wrote simply that we were hit from behind so we do not know what happened and we do not have any trouble with this man. This morning his uncle turned up wanting more written statements from us to this effect, which Zoe refused to give, pointing out to him that it might have been nice to ask how Hannah was feeling. We think the police will probably hassle this family considerably (which we do not want any part of) along with the oplet driver who took advantage of us (who we reckon deserves to be hassled).

We’ll be heading to Jakarta tomorrow with police assistance. We'll hang out there for a few days, get Hannah's stitches taken out and then probably figure out a reduced itinerary for Java using trains if possible (with a little cycling on quiet roads only*) and then proceed to Bali for our Christmas 'holiday'. Hopefully Hannah's back will have recovered sufficiently to enable her to wear a diving tank.

Our predominant emotions are a. relieved that it wasn't worse and b. gutted that it looks as though we'll probably have to forgo several hundred kilometres of cycling in Java. But (as other cycling bloggers have also observed) it's so dangerous here it's pretty much impossible to enjoy the landscape from the roads anyway.

Stay tuned for the next thrilling installment in our Indonesian adventure and check out Flickr where we've uploaded some new pics.

*It looks as though the force of the impact on Hannah's rear tyre split the inner tube on an inside seam and blew the valve clean off. Our first puncture! The wheel may need a small amount of truing and one rim is slightly scratched, but otherwise the wheel looks alright!